


A Doggone Skeleton

by JaylayDragon



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, F/F, F/M, HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST THIS, I am the reader, Reader is named, Sorry second person is not my thing, but I'm too lazy to take it down, dog grooming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-04 21:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10999263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaylayDragon/pseuds/JaylayDragon
Summary: A thing I do on my break at work. Don't expect much.Involves a "reader", a dog grooming salon, and a punny skeleton.Boy. I'm having a spot of fun with this so have a real summary:*****"After many years of running my own dog grooming shop I thought I'd seen it all. Until monsters sprouted from under a mountain and decided to take a peek into my life.And who knew a skeleton could be so charming in his own way.Sound cheesy enough yet? Well, my story gets much worse than that."





	1. Hustle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An odd client comes in to get his dog washed and then there is trouble with said pooch. And suddenly there's a new employee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The start of it all.

Another day, another dollar.

That's what my pa used to say before he gave me this place.

The old building with only one window nestled between one of the well-known biker bars in this little town and an abandoned car dealership perfect for squatters. On the top was a fancy scrawl in purple and green, kinda faded from the sun and rain but it still caught the attention of customers as it called, "Funky Dog's Grooming."

I owned the place. I have for fifteen years. The old shop was my home at times. I'd gone through maybe three or fours houses in that span of time, but the shop always stayed the same with it's never fully clean bathroom and two shop cats that lazed about like they owned the place.

Work here wasn't hard. It wasn't boring either. With dogs and cats coming in and out all the time, you always stayed on your toes. Big and small, no dog couldn't be done. 

You never knew what could come through the door next. 

But nothing could have prepared me for the almost six-foot tall skeleton holding a tiny white Pomeranian.

 "HELLO HUMAN GROOMER!" the skeleton said. He didn't seem to mean to be so loud, his voice just projected that way. 

At first I just stood there, unsure of what to think of this skeleton clad in armor and his little dog who was tucked under his arm, fur matted and panting probably from the heat.

"Uh... hello." 

The skeleton gave a large grin, his eyes closing from the pressure of his cheekbones rising.

Monsters had surfaced about a year ago, which came to a surprise to most of humanity. The government kept them under lock and key up on the mountain for about six months, claiming they were a public safety hazard, until they were given basic rights and allowed to mingle with society.  Obviously, not many people liked that, but upon the cruel faces there seemed to be three accepting ones for every sneer. Monsters found their place right along with humans. Many spread out across Ebbot city, but some stayed in the Underground, which was understandable. However, I hadn't heard of a case where they'd left the city quite yet. Made sense that they'd feel safer closer to the mountain in which they came.

Personally, I'd never encountered a monster before other than in passing. But I was always too shy to approach one and averted my gaze because I didn't want to be rude and stare.

Which was exactly what I was doing now.

"S- Sorry. C- Can I help you?" I asked.

"IT'S ALRIGHT HUMAN! I KNOW HOW HONORED YOU MUST FEEL TO BE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS! HOWEVER, I'M HERE TO GET MY CANINE FRIEND A BATH AND A HAIRCUT!"

The skeleton, Papyrus I assumed, held out the little white dog and you took the poor matted thing.

"Alright. I..." I began to feel the tangled and ratted fur and began to dread doing the dog. It was going to be hard work, but I knew that the dog was going to feel so much better without the knots and dirt caking his body.

"Can I get your phone number? I'll do my very best and then I'll call you to come get him when he's all clean and handsome." I smiled.

Papyrus seemed overjoyed.

"OF COURSE! I'M SO HAPPY YOU ARE WILLING TO GROOM TOBY! THE OTHER GROOMERS TOLD ME I WAS SCARING AWAY THEIR CLIENTS." The skeleton told them as he took a pen from the tin can on the desk and wrote it on a slip of paper nearby.

I couldn't help but feel bad for the monster. Seeing as he was made of bone, any dogs may have been excited to see or smell him if there were dogs in the pens and perhaps the clients weren't happy about having their babies so close to a monster. It was that closed mindedness that I tried to avoid, but it was just a part of how humanity was.

Holding the dog with one arm, I pocketed the slip and Papyrus stood there grinning widely for another second.

"WILL HE BE ALRIGHT?" Papyrus asked, clearly worried about the Pomeranian, Toby.

"Of course. He has all his shots right?" I had to ask, due to safety reasons and regulations.

"WHY YES! MY BROTHER SANS MADE SURE ALL HIS VACCINATIONS HE GOT UNDERGROUND PASSED ABOVEGROUND LAWS AS WELL! NOW, HOW MUCH DO YOU PREDICT TOBY'S HAIRCUT TO COST?"

"Oh, it may change, but I usually start at..." As I stared up at this childish skeleton's sparkling face and I couldn't help but feel a pang of something. This was a cinnamon roll of a person, and frankly, I couldn't help but feel a bit of favoritism, "...For you I'll start at twenty dol-"

"ONLY TWENTY!? WOWIE, I DIDN'T KNOW GROOMING COULD BE SO LOW! I EXPECTED A GOOD HUNDRED G LIKE LAST TIME."

"H-hundred?" Someone charged this innocent soul one hundred dollars for such a little dog! Sure I'd lowered my price a bit too, but it was nowhere near that! Sure the dog was a mess, but I'm sure it wasn't this skelly's fault. "Nope. Twenty solid. I wouldn't charge you a cent more."

I wasn't prepared for the lanky being to suddenly vault over the chest-high counter and practically body slam me into a hug. Well, I guess I can check 'getting aggressively hugged by a skeleton' off my bucket list.

 "THANK YOU, HUMAN GROOMER! YOU ARE SO KIND!"

"It's nothing." I managed to splutter out, and he released me and the dog, who seemed to be used to such treatment.

After reassuring Papyrus that Toby would be fine, he left, leaving you with the panting Pom. I sighed. Better to get started now before the afternoon appointments started coming in. Into the tub.

Toby was a sweetheart, the cutie was very loving, especially when nervous, and I could tell that the dog disliked being left. I wondered for a moment if Papyrus knew about that slight separation anxiety. Caught up in the thought, I didn't notice when Toby was preparing to shake and had no time to cover myself from the flying soap before I was being sprayed with water and suds.

I only laughed, since it was a normal occurrence, and went to rinse him, but the hose touched nothing but air when I turned back. I did a double take.

There was just a dog here! What the hell?!

Panicked, I glanced around for the dog, but even the leash which was once firmly attached to the hook in the wall was gone.

There was a yip from somewhere above me and I glanced up to the top shelf where the new soaps and brushes lay, and the little soaped up pooch was sitting atop the edge of the shelf.

Toby yipped again, leash hanging over the edge slightly.

Was this some sort of monster dog with flying powers or something?

"Toby! Come on boy, get down from there, it's dangerous!" I called, worried for the Pom's safety.

The white canine barked once more and promptly leaped from the shelf.

With a cry of alarm, I launched at where I believed he would be landing and held my arms out, hoping to catch him.

After a good thirty seconds of no sounds, no barking, yelping, crashing, nothing, I opened my eyes to see the bulging black eyes of the dog. He licked my face once, tail wagging, as if proud of his little stunt.

"You little..." I scooped up the dog quickly and set him back in the tub, one hand never leaving his back. "You're not leaving my sight again, Mr. Watch-Me-Teleport-Across-The-Room."

 The annoying dog merely wagged it's wet tail, sending a string of water everywhere. 

Toby was quick to dry once he was clean and there were no more disappearing incidents in the bath. The dryer loosened most of the tangled mess, but it was still so difficult to get a brush through. 

Suddenly Toby got a focused look and I watched, accusingly. I felt a yank on the wire brush I was using and I made the mistake of releasing it. I glanced over just in time to see the handle disappear into the mass of fur. 

"Did you just... absorb my brush?"

For a second, I could have sworn the little white dog looked smug.

 I grabbed the pooch, unwilling to let him leave my peripheral vision, and snagged a usually unused rubber brush from the toolbox, where all she main equipment stayed. The rubber brush didn't have a handle, but rather a strap that fit snuggly around the palm. 

"Alright, ya stinker, try getting this from me." 

The dog gave a defiant bark. 

A couple other clients came in, and I had to juggle the half brushed marshmallow and the new dogs a couple times, but it was manageable.

Several almost brush absorptions and a couple rough brush strokes and one sleek haircuts later, the Pomeranian was clean and cut. With a sigh, I put the dog in a cage to wait for his skeletal owner. 

"Now don't teleport! I have to do other dogs, and I gotta call Papyrus to come and get you." I told the Toby and he licked at my finger through the metal bars.

 While I washed the next dog, a big grey standard poodle named Prince, I used the number Papyrus gave me to inform him that Toby was all handsome and ready to go home. 

"WONDERFUL! I'LL BE THERE IN THIRTY TWO MINUTES SHARP!" 

I laughed, not expecting him to be serious, while I was doing the standard on the grooming table in front of the door, Papyrus bust through, panting, exactly 32 minutes after he called. 

I was about to greet the skeleton, but he let out a loud, "NYOO HOO HOO..." 

Upon further inspection, I could have sworn the giant skelly was crying. Who hurt this poor thing!? Someone needed a royal ass whipping. 

"What's wrong, Papyrus?" I asked, putting Price in a larger cage. 

"I FAILED YOU HUMAN." He cried. "I PROMISED TO BE HERE IN THIRTY TWO MINUTES, BUT I SHOW UP IN THIRTY TWO MINUTES AND THREE AND A HALF SECONDS. NYOO HOO...." 

The giant monster looked honestly upset with this. 

He was... serious?

"Aw, Papyrus. But you see, you showed up perfectly on time for me. My clock up there is five seconds off. So in fact, you were two seconds early!" I made up on the fly. Of course, my clock was a little slow, but I never really focused on the seconds hand too much. 

Papyrus instantly brightened, eyes sparkling. 

"WOWIE! YOU MUST BE RIGHT! IN THAT CASE, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT I'VE COME TO PICK UP TOBY ON PERFECT SCHEDULE!"

I laughed, turning to look at the little white canine, but he was gone, even though the cage was still shut and locked.

There was a laugh and I turned back to Papyrus to see Toby, perfectly fine, jumping onto Papyrus' chest, licking at his teeth and nasal cavity.

"HE LOOKS WONDERFUL HUMAN GROOMER! ALMOST AS WONDERFUL AS ME!"

 I laughed. 

"No one could look as great as you, Papyrus." 

"OF COURSE! IT IS BOTH A BLESSING AND A CURSE. HUMAN, ARE YOU SURE THE PRICE WAS MERELY TWENTY? IT SEEMS SO LOW." 

I hesitated. 

"I'm sure. But I'll bump it up to twenty five because Toby absorbed my brush." I informed him. 

Papyrus' eyes, uh, eye sockets widened and he gently tapped Toby's nose. 

"I AM TERRIBLY SORRY HUMAN GROOMER! HE USUALLY ONLY ABSORBS ARTIFACTS." 

My brushes weren't that old. 

As he dug around in his pockets, I grabbed a large akita and gingerly set him on the grooming table. 

"WOWIE! SUCH A PRETTY DOG! I BET THEY'RE A GOOD BOY!" 

Papyrus came around the little wall that acted as my front desk and raised his hand to pet it. 

 "Papyrus I wouldn't! He bites and I-" 

I stood shock still, amazed when the usually ferocious akita named Grumpy practically turned into a whole new dog. He whimpered submissively and licked at Papyrus' hand, perfectly calm around Papyrus. 

I took advantage of the docile state and clipped his nails quickly while Papyrus pet the pooch. 

"YOU DO ALL THESE DOGS YOURSELF?" 

I glanced around at the four other dogs, three big, one small that I had yet to do. 

"Yeah. I've been searching for a help but no one around here wants the job." 

"MY BROTHER SANS HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR ANOTHER JOB! HE IS GREAT WITH ANIMALS, AND I'M SURE THESE CUTIES WILL KEEP HIM FROM SLEEPING!" 

Another skeleton? If he had a calming effect on the dogs like Papyrus did, it would be a great help. Plus the extra hand would be great for getting dogs done faster. 

"Sure, he can come in tomorrow and I'll see how he does."

 "BRILLIANT! THANK YOU HUMAN GROOMER! SANS WILL BE HERE AT EIGHT. THAT'S WHEN YOU OPEN, CORRECT?" 

"Yup! I'll be counting on it!"

After a few more moments, Papyrus waved goodbye, leaving his payment on the desk. 

I went to collect, but was surprised to find a bag instead of bills. I shook the heavy pouch and there was jingling. 

Did he... pay in coins?

With a pull of the drawstring I opened the bag to find a note. 

-I KNOW YOU SAID TWENTY, BUT YOU WERE SO KIND AND YOU DID A WONDERFUL JOB ON TOBY! SO HERE IS FOURTY INSTEAD! I HOPE YOU HAVE A DAY AS GREAT AS ME! NYEH HEH HEH!

-PAPYRUS

 Gosh, he was such a sweetheart. But then... 

The pouch was full of gold coins. 

Holy shit. 

Fourty thick yellowed coins. Monster currency. 

My first instinct was to call him back, but he'd already sped off in his red convertible. 

I sighed. Maybe it wasn't so bad. What was one gold coin worth anyway?

Trusty Google gave me my answer: a lot. 

Like 750 paper dollars on average. 

And I had forty of them. 

Holy shit. 

Holy. Shit.

 I spent the next couple hours in a daze. Once all the dogs went home groomed and washed I let the shop cats out, gave them some water and sat down to do the math. 

 Thirty thousand.

A grand total of thirty thousand dollars sitting on my table.

I needed to get this back to Papyrus. I mean, I could just up and run with the money but I would feel... awful. I don't believe he did it on purpose and I didn't need all this. Almost half of it was a tip! Did he just throw gold like this around all the time?

I swiped my hand over my face.

What would I do with that kind of money? I could relocate, finally catch up on the bills. I wasn't poor, by any means, but I wasn't well off either. I guess was used to be a few days late on a bill every month though. Sure it'd be nice to be even on my expenses, but it would feel odd, I guess.

Papyrus said he was bringing his brother in tomorrow, right? It was simple. Just give it to him when Papyrus left. It wouldn't be that bad, just explain that you didn't really expect so much. I couldn't bare to give it back to Papyrus, it would seem almost rude.

I sighed again. I'd deal with this tomorrow. For now, I needed some rest and some dinner.

With a couple stroked of the shop cats, Bouncy and Shadow, I scooped up the heavy pouch of gold coins and slipped out to my car.

Within the next hour and a half I was drifting off to sleep on my rust red couch, a peanut butter and banana sandwich on my chest and a rerun of some kid cartoon on in the background. The coins sitting by my purse at the foot of the couch.

\----

Another day. Another dollar.

The shop was quiet when I walked in, almost too much so. I kicked on the radio and nudged Bouncy awake. Much better.

No one should be in until eight thirty, so I had an hour to kill looking through social media and playing with the cats.

I'd forgotten all about the skeleton brothers until at eight oh two Papyrus came barrelling into the shop, a short, slightly chubby and very tired looking skeleton tucked under his arm.

"I AM DREADFULLY SORRY WE ARE LATE, HUMAN GROOMER, MY BROTHER IS AWFUL AT TELLING TIME!" Papyrus cried, setting the sweater clad skele on his feet.

He was about a head shorter than Papyrus, but he slumped, making him appear shorter than he was. I'd judge him to be about five foot five, five foot six if he were standing properly.

"Sup?" the skeleton said lazily, eyes closing.

"SANS! DON'T YOU FALL ASLEEP WHILE YOU'RE TALKING TO THIS WONDERFUL HUMAN GROOMER!"

I flushed a little at being called wonderful, but neither skeleton seemed to notice.

"M'kay, bro."

The skeleton, Sans, straightened a little and cracked his neck bones. What were they again? Cervical vertebrae, right?

"PLEASE DON'T DO THAT."

"Come on, bro. You're not bothered when Frisk does it."

"JUST BECAUSE HUMAN FRISK DOES SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN GET INTO THE HABIT OF DOING IT. BESIDES, IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN YOU DO IT."

I watched the banter with mild amusement. They were really close brothers. I could tell. I wished I was that close with my brother. We chatted sometimes, but there was always something missing since we became adults. We used to be super close, but once we both moved out of our parents house and went our separate ways, it seemed like we both had better things to do.

Papyrus squealed almost angrily at something I didn't catch and stormed out, shouting "CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE DONE FOR THE DAY!"

He was gone so fast I didn't have time to tell him goodbye. 

I shook my head playfully and turned to the shorter skeleton.

"Hello." I greeted, "Sans, wasn't it?"

He nodded.

"Sup. Look, uh, I know Paps can be a bit overwhelming at first. It doesn't look like you want me here, and I can probably guess Paps just jumped to conclusions, huh?" He asked.

Sans was so different from his brother. He was soft-spoken, sluggish and oddly charming.

"Oh, uh, no. Sorry, I'm just... not used to company in the shop. I uh, do need a hand. I was looking for a dog washer, if that'd be okay."

He looked surprised.

"Really lady? What's the catch?"

He was wary. I couldn't blame him. Not many people would offer monsters public or even semi-public jobs just like that.

"Well, how's this? I'll pay you five for every little dog you do, and ten for each large dog. Here's the thing. Some days, I don't get any dogs, and I only stay here to clean the shop and in case someone walks in. Other days, I can get almost ten dogs. There's no real set hours. Come in between eight and nine and we'll leave when everyone is done. It's kinda under the table, but I'll it's almost never boring."

He thought a minute.

"Hm. Doesn't sound half bad. But sound like you'd be loosin' a lot of profit payin' me like that. A fourth of what you get?" He asked.

I looked confused at first, then laughed. I'd only charged Papyrus twenty.

"Oh, heh! Nah, on average a little dog goes at thirty-five, and sometimes increases depending on conditions and time and junk. Papyrus was just... he was sweetheart."

Speaking of.

I moved over to a table in the corner and grabbed the gold bag.

"This is yours." I said, handing over the pouch.

He looked at the bag, shocked.

"...where'd you get this?" He questioned. When Sans looked up there was a deep sense of judgement in the air. He seemed to be looking through me, rather than at me, searching for.... something.

"Papyrus gave it to me. He gave me forty coins and left before I could tell him that I meant dollars. I... I looked up the currency equivalent and... I don't know. It didn't feel right almost. I don't need that kind of money."

A smile grew on Sans' face, as if relieved.

"Heh. You're not bad kid." He said, slipping the pouch in his pocket.

"I'm not a kid." I complained, crossing my arms.

"Well, I never got your name."

I wracked my brain. I hadn't told him or Papyrus my name. How rude.

"I'm Alex. It's nice to meet you, Sans. What do you say we get started?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for giving "reader" a name. I just can't do the whole Y/N or "Hi I'm -------". It makes me feel like it's incomplete and the character is disconnected from the story. I don't mind reading it, but writing it feels odd.
> 
> Hope you enjoy anyway!  
> And have a nice day!


	2. Agreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's it like to have a skeleton work for you?

Sans was... More help than I expected but he definitely still needed some time to learn. 

Since we had time before we really needed to do anything, we sat and talked for a little bit, and chatted. He wasn't easy to talk to at first. He seemed skeptical. Perhaps it was because I was a human. I doubted very many of us were nice to him or his friends, so I didn't blame him.

I showed him how to mix the proper amount of the concentrated soap and he got it down pat. I showed him where the brushes and tools were and how to operate them. Should be easy then. First dog came in, a little yorkie by the name of Ella, and it took Sans twice as long to wash her, and I had to send her back because her feet and face was not completely clean. 

When I sprayed Ella's face directly with the hose, she shied away of course and Sans flinched. 

"That seems a bit mean, lady." 

"No one likes being sprayed in the face, but it doesn't hurt. And the face is one of the most important parts to clean. The first thing most customers want to do when they see their dog again is give them kisses. If their face smells bad, then bad reviews."

"What if the soap gets in their eyes?" 

"If you are afraid of that happening, use this. It's an eye-safe. It's just mineral oil that coats the eye and prevents anything getting in." 

He nodded. 

I left him to finish drying her off as I greeted another customer, who only wanted a haircut and no bath. 

They came in every two months and sat by to watch me cut their dog. The lady who owned him was kinda rude, always made comments to me, and the dog was a little shit. 

I made a couple strokes with my shaved when she spoke up. 

"Is there someone in the back? Finally got help, did you?" she asked, flipping what was left of her hair after an attempt at a pixie cut. 

"Yes. This is his first day and so far he's been doing better than I expected." Which was true. I'd expected him to be like 'gross, fleshy mammals' and walk out. 

 "Finally. Maybe you'll get things done around here." she scanned the semi messy shop. 

I blushed furiously and turned my back. 

I knew my shop was dirty. Why wouldn't it be? There was hair in the corners and smears of hair color and nicks in the walls from when I bumped things or a dog did. But it was my shop. It was my pride and joy. 

Her dog, Jackson, started to raise his lip and I sighed. Hopefully all skeletons worked the same to dogs. 

"Sans, when you're done could you cone here and hold this guy so I can cut his nails?" 

"Sure." he called.

After a minute he came out, set the dog in a kennel and came over to stroke the snarling canine. Just like with Papyrus, the dog calmed and gently licked his fingers, but I didn't have time to comment before the owner screamed bloody murder. 

Sans jumped back, which looked like the fastest best moved in years, and the owner screeched to have her precious little baby back. 

I handed her the dog and she ran out, spitting something about filth. 

It took a few minutes for me to calm down enough to realize what just happened. 

"Sans, I-" 

"I'm sorry." he said immediately. 

My eyebrows raised in confusion. 

"What for?" 

He crossed his arms, looking a bit crestfallen. 

"For scaring away a customer. I can leave if you wa-" 

"Don't." 

His gaze rose to meet mine, confusion written over his face. 

"Don't you dare act like that was your fault. If anything, what just happened would make me want to keep you around more. You're a great person, and if they can't get that through their thick skulls, then maybe they need a lesson from my skeleton friend." I said. 

He didn't respond for a long time and for a moment I thought I said something wrong. 

"You are a very strange human." 

"I'll take that as a complement."

His grin widened over his teeth. How that was possible exactly, I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to question the magical skeleton. 

Sans went to go make soap for any more dogs that came in and right at noon, three big black poodles that I called The Triplets strutted in, tails wagging. 

They were easy to stick in cages and after talking with the owner for a minute, they went on their way and I turned to the triplets. 

"Well, who's ready to get all prettied up?" 

All three pom pom tails wagged. 

I laughed and Sans came around the corner to have a look at them. 

"They seem... Excited?" 

"Most all poodles I do love to be groomed. They love getting on the table and being cut. But they need baths first, cause you ladies stink. Yes you do! Yes you do!" 

One of them barked at me and I pulled her out. 

"They're a bit heavy, so I'll help you get them into the tub." 

"Uh. There's really no need. I can probably handle it." 

I stared at him. 

"Really? You hiding some muscles under that hoodie?" I teased. 

He laughed. 

"You caught me. I'm only a skeleton on my face and hands. Underneath I'm really a body builder." 

I laughed. 

"I'd like to see that someday." 

He chuckled, "Why? You want to  _jump my bones_ that bad?" 

I was gonna say something but then I realized he'd made a skeleton joke. 

"Ha ha! Very  _punny_ Mr. Skeleton."

"Hey, I got a skele _ton_ of 'em." 

I snickered. 

 "We gotta get back to work."

"Aw. Don't be so  _ruff_ on me. My jokes are  _paw_ some."

"Go make some soap or something!" I cried through a laugh. 

"Why? So you don't have to  _lavish_ my jokes in complements?" he asked, pointing at the fancy dog soap brand, which was called Lavish. 

I snorted, covering my nose. 

"You're fired! No more jokes!" I said through a laugh. 

He raised a brow bone. 

"Really? I think you're  _ribbing_ me now. You'd be sad  _Sans_ a skeleton."

"I could always hang out with Toby and Papyrus." I said. 

He held a hand to his sternum as if offended.

"Ouch. Don't need me after all eh? But uh, if it's not too much to ask. Do it. Papyrus... He's really lovable, but he doesn't have very many friends. Especially human friends. And I'm afraid he's going to get hurt sometimes if he doesn't have anyone to hang out with."

I blinked at Sans' sudden serious tone. 

"Oh. I... I guess I could. When I can. I mean, I usually have the shop to worry about..."

Sans gave me the biggest puppy dog look I have ever seen. And I had seen a lot. His eye lights expanded and sparkled slightly in the dim light. I swear he was using magic on me or something. 

I hesitated. 

"I have Sunday off." I gave in. 

"Perfect. Let me get your number and I'll send you our address." 

Welp. I needed to learn how to say no. Hopefully I wouldn't regret it. I probably wouldn't. Papyrus seemed nice and maybe that energy would rub off on me.

We chatted lightly over the next couple hours over the spray of the bathtub hose and blow dryer. 

I learned that Sans and Papyrus were friends with the infamous child ambassador and monster royalty. 

"Tori and I go way back... Sorta. We talked through a door for several years before we officially met. Tellin' knock knock jokes. It was the greatest."

"That must have been something." 

"Yeah. Sorry. It feels like I'm bragging a bit. I like my friends. I wasn't very good with talking before. Papyrus got me to communicate better once we got to the surface."

"He sounds like a very good brother." I told him. 

"He's the coolest." he said as he brought the last washed dog to the front of the shop. 

He started to go on a rant about his brother, the praise and amazement pouring out of him. It seemed like Papyrus was a much easier subject to talk about. 

 As I groomed up the last triplet, Sans' talking slowed down and eventually stopped all together. I glanced over at the chair he had been sitting in to find the skeleton asleep, his mandible on his fist. 

I grinned. It had been a long day. He deserved a nap. 

Not a lot of people realize how hard it is to groom a bunch of dogs. 

The triplets' mom, Dawn, came in and oogled their haircuts for a while before she noticed the snoring skeleton. 

"Aw. How cute. Did he hide in here or something? Was there an incident?" she asked. 

"Oh, no. He's my new helper. Today was his first day. He did really well. I think I might keep him around a bit."

She grinned. 

"How sweet. Monsters need more kind hearted people like you, Alex. But be careful. If you ever have any trouble..."

Dawn worked with the city. She had connections and favors to collect stuffed up every sleeve of every shirt she owned. She was a good person to have on your side. 

"Thanks. I'll be fine, don't worry. But it's good to hear I have someone's support."

She raised one blonde eyebrow and I told her about the person from earlier. 

"I swear to... People can be so rude. Don't let them bug you though. You can't throw a stone out here without hitting some sort of asshole." 

I shrugged. 

"I guess you're right." 

She paid with a generous tip as always and gave me one last piece of advice. 

"Hey, Alex. If I were you, I'd stick with the monsters. Don't listen to the story books. They... are so much kinder than humanity could ever be." 

I smiled, kinda unsure. 

"I'll give it some thought." I promised as she left. 

I swept up some of the hair, put things away, and let the cats out before approaching Sans. I shook his shoulder, taking a second to think about how boney he really was and how light he was based on how easy it was to shake him. 

One of his eye sockets cracked open, a lazy little eye light peeking out. Bouncy the cat hopped on his lap as if she knew him, but Sans didn't seem to mind. In fact, when she curled on his lap, he placed a hand on her back and rubbed her fur with his thumb.

"Sans. Time to go home. Here." 

I held out his pay and he yawned before giving me a confused look. 

"I thought you already paid me." He said, patting his pocket. A jingle of coins resulting. 

"That's Papyrus'. What would I do with all those coins?" 

"Keep it then. Because that means Toby didn't get paid for yesterday."

I rolled my eyes and pulled a twenty out of his pay. 

"There. Happy?"

He shook head. 

"I'm not takin' your money, kiddo. I messed up most the dogs, drove away a customer, and slept on the job." 

"You think I don't sleep on these tables sometimes? Besides, you still came and worked. How about we compromise. I'll consider this your 'training' day, but you have to come back tomorrow and earn this." I waved the money.

He raised a bone brow. 

"You mean, you want me to come back?" he asked.

"Perhaps I enjoyed the company." 

"Heh. Okay kid, you got me there. You keep your muns. Time to go home."

He got up and stretched, Bouncy meowing in protest as she slipped off.

Sans moved sluggishly, shoulders drooping low. I got the feeling that he would take the lazier route if there was one, but unfortunately, everyone, even monsters, needed to walk. Or fly. Or slither. Or... travel. Everyone needed to travel.

I locked up the shop quickly and hid the spare key behind the sign on my semi glass door.

'You gonna call Papyrus?"

Sans shook his head.

"Nah. I don't wanna bug him. I can get home myself."

I glanced at the short skeleton, his blue sweater covered in do hair and a bit damp from the dogs shaking water on him.

"Papyrus dropped you off. That means your car's not here. How do you plan on getting home?" I asked.

He shrugged again.

"I can walk. I probably need it." he said, patting his midsection.

When he did there was a noise, as if something was there to pat. Did he have a stomach? Que eyebrow raise.

"Um. I feel obligated to say no you're not walking. My car is perfectly capable of holding one more passenger."

Before he could argue, I unlocked my car with the key chain button and opened up the right side of a dirt old two door Pontiac.

"It seems like you're kidnapping me." Sans joked.

"Har har. Keep talking, Mr. Skeleton or I'll make ya walk da plank."

Sans chuckled as he slipped in.

He waited for me to slip in the other side before asking, "What do pirates have to do with you kidnapping me?"

"I don't know. I thought of skulls and crossbones when I said 'Mr. Skeleton'. But hey, it made you get in the car, didn't it?"

"That it did. It kinda _hooked_ me."

"I made a mistake, didn't I?"

"Perhaps. Why are pirates called pirates?"

"Um... I don't know. Why?" I questioned and Sans' smile seemed to grow over his face when I played along.

"They just _arrrr_."

"Oh my god."

I could already tell this was gonna be a long ride.

\----

After laughing at stupid jokes for about fifteen minutes, Sans directed me to a rather nice apartment building with a red convertible parked in the front, standing out from the other bland looking cars. I was a bit jealous for a second.

"Thanks, kid. You didn't have to."

"Meh. I'm too nice for my own good." I laughed.

"You got a good soul." He said, his eye lights flicking to my chest. Odd. Did skeletons... never mind.

I ignored it.

"Thanks? I think. Welp, better get up to Papyrus before he wonders where you are."

"Nah. More like I better go make sure he's not gonna burn the place down. He's got a friend over. Wish me luck."

I waved, unsure what that meant, but I called out 'Good luck!' anyway.

Just as I pulled into my own one grand a month, two bed, one bath apartment, there was a sharp ringing.

That wasn't my phone.

I glanced over and snagged a boxy little touch screen phone from between the seat and the door.

A little green phone was dancing over the screen with the caller ID. The word 'cool bro' and a picture of Papyrus with bulging eyes and what looked like a ketchup mustache over his teeth.

I had to answer.

"Hello?"

"GREETINGS HUMAN! MY BROTHER INFORMED ME HE LOST HIS PHONE, SO I FIGURED I COULD CALL AND SEE IF ANYONE WOULD PICK IT UP. AND YOU DID! I REQUEST THAT YOU RETURN IT PRETTY PLEASE."

I laughed. Faintly, I could hear Sans in the background and someone I didn't know. Female from what I could tell and shouty like Papyrus. This must be the friend Sans was talking about.

"Hi, Papyrus. This is Alex. I groomed Toby yesterday. Sans left his phone in my car."

"OH! HELLO HUMAN GROOMER! HOW DID SANS DO TODAY? I TRUST HE WASN'T A LAZYBONES, WAS HE?"

I could practically feel the glare through the phone. Sans must usually nap on the job.

"He was great. He worked very diligently. I think he deserves a couple naps after such a hard working day. And a cool guy like you would surely allow that, right?"

The skeleton thought a moment.

"HM... I SUPPOSE I COULD. GREAT JOB, SANS! THIS DESERVES SOME CELEBRATORY SPAGHETTI!"

"Sounds delicious! Tell Sans I'll hold onto his phone until tomorrow. He can come pick it up when he comes in."

"YOU MEAN HE GOT THE JOB! SANS HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME! NYEH HEH HEH! THIS CALLS FOR EXTRA GLITTER IN THE NEXT BATCH! THANK YOU HUMAN! I WILL TELL HIM, AND GOODNIGHT! I MUST ATTEND TO MY NOODLES!"

I heard a loud "NYYYYAHHHHHHHH!" and there was a crash before the phone clicked.

"Extra... glitter?" Oh boy. Now I understood Sans' concern for their apartment. I wondered if I should be worried too. Sans could handle it, right?

I laughed and practically flopped into my familiar little home.

Not bothering with dinner, I took my meds and passed out on the couch, figuring I'd get something in the morning. I was a little excited for a second day with my new help.

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on deviantart or tumblr!  
> Search up JaylayDragon on dA and quethenogard on tumblr
> 
> And buying me a coffee will definitely urge me to write more faster! >> [Buy Me a Coffee](https://ko-fi.com/A4612H1O)


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